What is the purpose of a Blog?

When I created my website, I thought it would be a wonderful idea to create a weekly blog post to present my processes of therapy, and express how I see the world for potential clients to better know me and my style. I also wanted to explain some of my choices on this website. (Such as: why do I quote Iris Murdoch? Why Tehereh Mafi’s quote using the metaphor of life as a journey? What’s with the literary references?)

I was influenced by those around me expressing the need for exposure and blogging as a means for algorithms to find my website. I was told I should blog to keep content fresh and updated so potential clients know I’m active as a therapist. I thought I had to blog regularly to reach my target audience and build my private practice.

As evidenced by my lack of blog posts, this is not for me.

But Why Not?

Here’s where I get lost. I have many amazing (so I think) ideas with which to write. So, I scribble down some of these ideas and tell myself I need to put this up in a blog post. My chest then tightens, and anxiety sets in. My mind races:

I need to make this really smart, so I sound like a competent therapist. I haven’t written a blog post in a while – I should post a blog every week to keep myself relevant! I must make this happen so I can reach my audience and attract clients!

The needs, shoulds, and musts bombard my thought process and interrupt my creative flow. Which all turns into; Does this make sense? Do I sound like a professional? Is this good enough to post? What if I sound dumb?

And thus… I haven’t written a blog post in almost a year.

But wait! I’m a therapist!

Since I’m a therapist, to get to the bottom of my anxiety provoking reaction to blogging, I decided to approach myself as though I were a client. Below is the dialogue I had between Therapist Me and Client Me:

Therapist Me (TM): What does blogging mean for you?

Client Me (CM): Good question. I think it means expressing my processes as a therapist, putting into written language my style, to provide potential clients with an idea of how I work.

TM: Is that what blogging means?

CM: (beat) Huh. Funny you should ask. After saying that, I realize that I don’t believe what I just said. Blogging is actually just a means to an end. I think others have told me that this is why I need to blog. However, there are other ways of providing potential clients with an idea of who I am and how I work. What blogging means for me, really, is a lot of work.

TM: Tell me more about that.

CM: I have a lot of ideas that I think about when I’m just waking up in the morning, or when I’m showering. And when I open my computer and start typing, those ideas become less clear, a jumbled mess, and pulling them together into a cohesive format for a blog post takes a lot of mental and emotional energy. It often becomes overwhelming.

TM: What is overwhelming?

CM: I don’t know.

TM: That’s fair. Can you say more about the mental and emotional energy you put into the creation of a post?

CM: Hm. Let me think a minute….

TM: (remaining silent)

CM: …I would like to see myself as a writer, as someone who can have an idea and easily write it in an intelligent and thought-proving way. I struggle with an insecurity of not sounding smart enough. Of creating a written piece that is not up to my own standards. Of being judged for lacking in something I identify as one of my strengths.

TM: You get overwhelmed by pressuring yourself to be perfect?

I have some work to do…

So, What now?

The next phase of my therapy is to explore those needs, shoulds, and musts. Delve into the systemic influences that created these intrusive thoughts, determine what thoughts were given to me and what thoughts are my own, and decide how to move forward in a way that is more my style, more in line with what feels right for me while reaching my intended goals.

In conclusion… blogging is just not my thing.

Sometimes I have ideas and feel good about writing them out and sharing them. Sometimes it’s more energy than I care to expend. I get more confidence and satisfaction from talking through my ideas with my colleagues and have developed some amazing connections in this profession – I’ve made some lovely friends who also enjoy in-person (or Zoom) dialogue.

I may be missing out on reaching a larger audience, on developing a larger private practice, on making more money and keeping my schedule full. So, what am I gaining by forgoing this push to do something I think I should do, to miss out on all these benefits, rather than doing what feels right for me?

I’m about to find out…